The national debate following the tragedy in Connecticut on Friday has mainly centered around two issues: policies on gun control and mental health care. I wanted to push the debate in a bit of a different direction with this post. I have been sitting here thinking for 2 days wondering what I can do besides pushing our policy makers to change our gun laws or find a way to improve access to behavioral health care. In other words, are there things we can do as society to help in the prevention of these tragedies?
Some small background - many, many years ago when I was in high school, a bomb when off in a locker at our school. It's been awhile, so I'm hazy on a lot of the details (if anyone from my HS is reading this and has a different memory of events, feel free to correct), but the end result was that while one person got singed, no one else got hurt. Still, the school was evacuated and everyone was sent home. It ended up being that one student who was being bullied ended up planting the bomb in another kid's locker - the alleged bully's locker.
I remember in the days following the incident, the kid who planted the bomb became somewhat of a sympathetic figure because of the bullying. He was kind of a loner. Dressed different. Carried a briefcase around school. Was very quiet. And had few friends, if any. I don't know if he had any known psychological problems - but he did become somewhat of a victim when details emerged. Although I am certain that would have been different had the end result been worse.
The reason that I'm sharing this background is that after reading about the Sandy Hook shooter, the Columbine shooter, and others, there are a lot of similarities in the profile of the shooters and the kid who planted the bomb in my high school over 20 years ago. The statements about people who went to High School with the Sandy Hook shooter were things like "I don't remember him", "He didn't have any friends", or "I'm not surprised - he was weird." There also seems to be some evidence he was largely ignored by his family as well.
Let me be very clear, I am in no way saying we should feel bad for this mass murderer after what he has done. It was a despicable action and he deserves to be briefly despised and then forgotten. But if we agree with the premise that these killers were not pre-destined out of the womb to commit these acts, but the course of their life drove them in that direction, we should look to how we as a society can serve to change that. In the memory of those beautiful children who lost their lives, I believe we should all look inward at what we can do to make the world a better place - a place where horrors like this do not happen.
We live in a way where we reject people almost daily because of the way they dress, the way they look, the way they talk, what they believe, the pets they own, the cars they drive, the homes they live in, the job they do, and the teams they root for. We run away from people who are different because we don't understand them. We should seek to understand.
We all share in the human condition. But when it comes down to it, in many instances where respect for the human condition is lost, it's because someone can't see beyond those differences into the human underneath. Instead of running away from people's differences, we should seek to embrace them. And even if we can't embrace them, maybe we'll at least be able to accept and tolerate.
So, in the aftermath of this tragedy, as we all look for answers and things we can do to make the world better - we should begin to learn ourselves and then, in turn, teach our children the value of differences. And maybe next time you come across someone you might normally turn away from or reject because they are different - perhaps we should turn to them and say "Hey friend - how are you doing?" You never know. You could be saving a life.
I welcome all respectful commentary to this that serves to push the conversation of how to prevent unspeakable tragedies from happening forward.
In loving memory to those that lost their lives at Sandy Hook Elementary.
No comments:
Post a Comment