Evil Daddy

The last couple weeks have been a little crazy with me trying to adjust to a different schedule. It's taken a toll on me - but apparently it's taken a toll on my dog as well. He requested a spot this week in my blog, so turning it over to him for this post:

So I have been informed that this is a blog read by mostly humans. I am thankful for that because an audience of dogs wouldn’t help me. I understand why dogs do what they do. Humans on the other hand, I sometimes really don't get them. Even the human that I know best in the world, my Daddy, makes little sense to me.

For example, a few weeks ago Daddy started leaving home during the day again. The first day he decided to be nice and give me access to all the yummy stuff in the fridge when he left for work. So I went in and helped myself to the spaghetti sauce he made the night before. I was so appreciative of Daddy doing this to me, I licked the entire container clean so he wouldn't have to clean it out for me when he returned home. I also left him one of the containers so he would have some of it when he came home.

Anyway, when Daddy returned home, he got mad and started gesturing at the floor. And then he took out a towel and this scary spray bottle and started scrubbing the floor. I mean, I'm a dog. And plus it's not like he left me a plate, fork, and knife when he left the house. I even had to open the container myself - and I'm not like a human! I don't have opposable thumbs! You can imagine how difficult opening it was! So explain how was I supposed to NOT get spaghetti sauce on the floor! If he really wanted me to eat it the right way, he should have just left it in my food bowl before he left. Of course, sometimes I like to dump my food bowl on the floor when he leaves just to show him that I was thinking of him while he was gone (which he also gets mad about sometimes - see you people make no sense! I am just trying to show Daddy I care and he totally takes it the wrong way!) but I certainly wouldn't have had he left me yummy spaghetti sauce.

Since that incident, Evil Daddy has begun to lock the fridge again to prevent me from getting in. And more recently, Evil Daddy has started putting things on his bed to make it more difficult for me to take the sheets off his bed and use them to hide my bones in case someone comes and tries to steal them while he's gone. I mean, I can still pull clothes out of his hamper to hide the bones, but I think we can all agree that sheets provide better cover for bones! So please, all you humans out there that read this - can you tell me how I can get Nice Daddy back that leaves the fridge unlocked and the bed unmade?